Cola's frustration

Cola, still standing on the great expanse of the gigabyte battle field, awaiting for Jagex the Hutt to show his face, begins to worry. He looks behind him and begins to see his Mighty Army begin to dance and doing the Jig! Cola realizes that it is taking a long time, even in dog years, too long to get this issue addressed! Cola also knows his Great Army wants to fight issue, because they trying to stay busy so Mighty Jagex the Hutt not kick them off!
Cola now fuming over the past weeks lack of updates and events, calls to his Super Troopers. Cola’s Mighty Army of Supporter who are again information, proudly holding their Mighty Picks of Roaring Thunder. As Cola looks over his great Army looking proud at them for their great endurance his army has shown Cola thus far, calls out for his fastest messenger to come foreword. The messenger, who must be of English descent, is sitting at a table hosting a cup of tea to his lips. Cola, who beginning to loose his patients with the young runner yells for him again, but, the runners not answer Cola! The messenger slow and calmly places the tea cup upon the table, then turns in his seat towards Commander Cola. The runner, with a simply nods at Cola, then points to his magical time peace and shakes his head no!
Cola runs up to the messenger who is being insubordinate, tell the young man to get on his hind legs and stand before Cola! The youngling, poised in speech, “My dear man, do you not know what time it is? Do you not see my observance to the Queen! My Command you must calm down would you like a cup of tea to settle your nerves. You look over worked and I must say you are taking this too seriously.” Cola look at young runner, thinks to himself, “Tea time and slowness to act, I have seen these qualities before, but where?” Cola sits as the runner suggested and reaches for an empty cup and places it in front of him. The runner lifts tea pot with a frilly tea cozy covering pot, pours Commander Cola tea with great care not spilling a drop. With great eloquence, the runner states, “cream?’ Cola shakes his head no to affirm that he didn‘t wish to have cream. Again the messenger asks with great politeness, “Would Commander Cola like a few lumps of sugar with your tea?” Again Cola declines the runner offer. Cola, who is still pondering over the current issue of why Jagex the Hutt has not shown up, the young man asks Cola, “Dear Sir, would you like a crumpet with your tea?” Cola say, “Cola would cookie with my tea if you can find one somewhere!”
The runner looks from side to side looking for one who may have a cookie for the Mighty Cola, not wanting to get him upset and unruly again! The youngling eyes fall upon one of the Mighty Warriors, who looks as if they were excited about something. The warrior now waving her hands wildly to get the runners attention. The messenger calls over the frantic warrior to come to the table and asks her, “Madam do we need to use the pottie or something?’ The young Warrior whispers into the runner ear, the messenger nods as to be agreeing to something, but Commander Cola could not hear what the two are saying because they are out of ear shot range! The young warrior, now jumping up and down with excitement pulls out her rolling pin from behind her back, say to the Cola in a childish voice, “Would Cola like a 12 foot cookie?’ Cola forgetting himself begins to jump up and down as well, “Cola want cookie, Cola want big cookie!!!” So Warrior Ikari starts rolling out big cookie for Cola, bakes it with great speed in 50 foot oven and hands it to Commander Cola.
As Cola begins to eats his 12 foot cookie, the answer he was looking for finally comes to him! “The Mighty Jagex the Hutt does what he does, because he can!” Cola remember last encounter with the Mighty Jagex, when he was unable to break thru the Huge Firewall. Jagex the Hutt was going somewhere, but where was Jagex going? That must have only one of many thrones Jagex has! Cola, now more determined asks the runner for the almighty */hone book! The runner hands Cola the 60lb book. Cola swiftly thumbs thru the pages until he comes to the “J”! Cola, now mumbling to himself with madness, as foam creases the edge Cola mouth. “jagbig, jagbiger, jag cake and jag hate!” Cola Screams Out, “where the bloody hell is Jagex?” “They are not listed anywhere!”, Cola not tearing through book looking some kind of fone number or add/dress to reach out to Jagex The Great, Cola doesn’t see one! Cola picks up the great book and hoists it over his head. With great strength, Cola rips the book in two of his frustration, knowing he had been thwarted again by the Mighty Jagex!